


Forgiveness

by Finnijer



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor is patient with his angery boy, Drabble, Gavin has bad dreams, Gavin has self worth issues, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Shot, They love each other so much it’s gross, established relationships - Freeform, mild violence referenced, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 18:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16225202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnijer/pseuds/Finnijer
Summary: Gavin wakes up from a nightmare and Connor won’t let it go until he explains what it was about.





	Forgiveness

Gavin jolts awake at the sound of the gun going off in his dream. He takes a moment to get himself together, his heart pounding in his ears, his eyes adjusting to the dark. He’s at home, in his bed. It’s night, 1:38am according to the digital clock on the wall he’s facing. He holds his breath, realizing he’s hyperventilating.

It’s the second time this week he’s dreamed he shot Connor. Fifth time this month. He makes himself exhale slowly, his breath coming out in a stagger. He wipes at his face, his hand getting wet from the tears he’s crying. 

He hates this.

His eyes widen when he realizes the arm, normally draped around his waist, is missing when he goes to hold onto it. He rolls over in bed, breath quickening again. What if it isn’t a dream? The moment of panic ends however, when he sees Connor lying beside him, facing the other way. He calms himself down through slow and controlled breathes. Gavin sits up and keeps wiping at his face. Why can’t he stop crying?

“Gav?”

Connor rolls over and looks up at him from the pillow.  

“Hey,” Gavin smiles. 

He knows the android can scan him, but he still puts on a brave face. 

“You’re upset.”

“It’s nothing.” 

“Don’t lie to me, Gav.”

Gavin’s chest feels heavy as Connor grabs his hand. He rubs his thumb along top of it, in the motion that would normally calm him. Not tonight though; it only brings more tears out of his eyes. 

“I had a nightmare that’s all.” Gavin knows he sounds weak. 

“Tell me about it.”

“Con, it’s nothing.”

“Gavin.” 

Connor sits up, still holding his hand. Gavin looks away. The tone was soft but stern; Connor isn’t taking no for an answer. When Gavin doesn’t respond, Connor continues. 

“This is the fifth night you’ve awoken distressed. Talking about it might help prevent it from happening again. I know it’s about me. You say my name in your sleep. What are you dreaming about?”  

Gavin chokes back a sob when he tries to speak. His sinuses are flooded and his eyes feel like they’re pouring out an ocean. He’s an absolute mess. He can’t tell Connor. Connor will leave him. His nightmare will come true.  

Connor switches his hands, and moves his other to Gavin’s back. He rubs light circles against his shirt while his thumb goes back to doing the same. Gavin hates how weak he feels for enjoying the feeling. He wipes at his face again, sniffling continuously. Connor will wait all night on him; he has to rip the bandaid now.  

“I dreamed I shot you. Back in the interrogation room that first time. I pulled the trigger and shot you.” 

He dares to glance at Connor. His face is stoic, but his LED is whirling yellow in the dark.  

“I see,” he says and stops rubbing Gavin’s back. He tilts his head. “Is this every time?”

 “Yeah.” 

“Have you always had this dream?”

Gavin swallows hard.  

He shakes his head. 

No.  

It only started when Connor moved in with him. After Hank grumbled “ _ if you hurt that boy I’ll kill you. I don’t know what he sees in you after all you’ve done _ .” The sadness in his chest becomes heavy, spreading and twisting into coils at the remembrance. 

“It started when I moved in?” Gavin drops his gaze. Sometimes he thinks Connor is a mind reader. “And it’s only you shooting me? There’s something else.” 

Fuck, he knows.  

He knows it’s more than that. Gavin must talk more in his sleep or maybe Connor is scanning his heart rate. Connor’s hand gently squeezes his, and Gavin has to wipe at his face again. He takes a haggard breath and turns back to Connor. 

“Don’t make me say it.”  

He sounds so broken. God, he hates being so _weak_. Connor reaches up to cup Gavin’s neck and pulls Him forward so their foreheads rest against one another.   

“I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.”

Gavin stares back into Connor’s perfect brown eyes. They were made to draw a confession out of a suspect when he stares them down, but now only make Gavin melt inside. God, he loves him. He tries to find his voice. He can do this. 

“You always,” Gavin sniffles. This is so hard. “You always start out telling me how you made a mistake.”  

He takes a deep breath and tries to pull away, but realizes Connor won’t let him. Then the words just start falling from his lips. 

“You tell me that I haven’t changed. That I’m just manipulating you. I try to tell you that your wrong Con, but you won’t listen. You tell me that I never loved you, it was all a lie so I could hurt you. You show me marks on your arms and you tell me I did that to you. They’re so awful Con. Burn marks and cuts. Dents so deep your skin won’t cover them. And you said I did that. I’m an android hater and always will be. And, I don’t know I grab my gun and tell you if that’s the case, then fine and I shoot you.”

The tears won’t stop falling. The memory of the dream is so fresh and real. Connor looking battered with his clothes torn. The burns and cuts he throws into Gavin’s face. The dent in his stomach from where he said Gavin punched him. Then Gavin pulls the trigger like it’s  _ nothing.  _ Like Connor isn’t alive and worth living. 

His head hurts. He wishes Connor never asked. Still, Connor moves his head and pulls Gavin close to him. His hand is still in his and he starts rubbing circles again. He buries his face into Connor’s shoulder and cries. He despises every tear he sheds. He hates how his body shakes, and how Connor just holds him like he’s not a monster. Connor’s voice cuts through the tangled sadness seeping into Gavin’s mind now. 

“I forgave you a long time ago, Gav. Now you have to forgive yourself.”  

His free hand goes into Gavin’s hair, carding through it gently. He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve Connor. Gavin’s a fuck-up and always has been. Being with Connor doesn’t change that. It’s moments like this that Gavin wonders why Connor even forgave him. There is no excuse for how he acted towards Connor. Gavin was scared of him; made himself hate him. Took all his fears out in the most violent ways.

“I don’t know how.” He mutters aloud. 

He doesn’t. How can he do that when he knows he’s in the wrong? The android plays with the strands of his hair, not replying. Gavin starts to get lost in the hum coming from Connor’s chest and the soft strokes of his fingers on the back of his neck. He’s so tired. 

“You should sleep, Gav.” Connor whispers. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

He nods pulling away. They settle back into bed, shifting around so he and Connor are facing one another. Gavin instinctively wraps himself around Connor, slipping a leg between his and burying his face into Connor’s chest. They both drape an arm around the other; Gavin starts to relax again with the hum of Connor’s components softly vibrating against his face. He doesn’t care if his neck will ache in the morning; there is more comfort in feeling Connor alive against him. 

“I’ll be here when you wake, love.” Connor adds, lightly tracing the scars along Gavin’s back. “And everyday after.”

Gavin hums, tiredness sinking into him. He doesn’t want to talk about it in the morning. He knows Connor won’t forget. Maybe he can try for his stubborn boyfriend. His eyes are going to be puffy in the morning. The last thing Gavin feels before falling asleep is Connor pressing a kiss against the top of his head. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post something for our resident trash boi’s birthday. I had this lying around and decided to wrap it up and post it. I love Gavin so much even if Cage doesn’t even know his name. 
> 
> David Cage apologists do not interact.


End file.
